🙏 Introduction — A Message from Ignacio Segovia, Inspired by Pastor Carson Gramling
This article is written by Ignacio Segovia and is deeply influenced by a message delivered by Pastor Carson Gramling at Potential Church. In that service Pastor Carson walked us through what it looks like to find true Peace amid chaos, using the biblical imagery of shalom, the honest confession of David, and the practical steps we can take when life feels pulled apart. I want to build on that message, add a metaphor I find powerful — the rough rock and the polished rock — and tie it all together with the foundation of Jesus as the cornerstone.
We will explore how Peace is not simply the absence of trouble, but a restored wholeness (shalom) that can stand even in the middle of chaos. We’ll look closely at three consistent attacks on Peace: accusations, anger, and assumptions. We’ll also examine what scripture shows us about restoration, the cross, and the role of Jesus as the cornerstone who shapes the rough rock into a polished stone. Along the way I’ll be candid about parenting, exhaustion, and real-life chaos so you can see how these truths play out in everyday living.
👶 Pastor Carson Gramling | Personal Story: Silas, Sleepless Nights, and How Chaos Teaches Peace |
Let me be honest and pastoral for a moment. My wife Jess and I recently had our first child, Silas. I didn’t give birth, but I was and am deeply involved. Before he was born, he already brought a new kind of chaos into our lives. The due date landed on the day I had planned to officiate Jess’s brother’s wedding — December 28. Instead of standing at an altar, I watched the ceremony from a hospital room between contractions and asked a friend to officiate. I told myself: once the baby arrives, Peace will be restored. I was wrong.
For about three hours, everything felt peaceful. Then the baby reminded us of what babies do: cry, demand, disrupt sleep. Over the last nine months my watch tells me I averaged roughly three hours and forty-one minutes of sleep per night. That chronic sleep loss created tension and arguments about things that had not yet taken place — we found ourselves debating hypotheticals born of exhaustion. The chaos of parenting, like many forms of chaos, became an attack on our inner Peace.
But the story doesn’t end in exhaustion. The parenting journey also became a classroom for shalom. I discovered something counterintuitive: there were moments of deep Peace in the middle of utter chaos. In the quiet between feedings when I held my son, I felt a kind of shalom that was not dependent on ideal circumstances. Those experiences taught me that Peace can be present even when life is hard.
Two lessons rose up for me from this season:
- Peace is not a result of perfect conditions. The presence of a child did not instantly restore our life to pre-chaos perfection. Instead, Peace appeared in unexpected pockets when we intentionally turned to God and to each other.
- Community and humility are essential. I had to let go of the illusion that I had to have it all together. We let people pray with us. We accepted practical help. Those acts were not signs of weakness but of becoming polished under the hand of God and community.
That is precisely the kind of transformation the rough rock/polished rock metaphor captures. The rawness of our life was not denied; it was shaped.
🌪️ The Problem: Chaos vs Peace
Many of us know the feeling: lying down at night hoping for rest, only to have our minds race. We seek Peace as if it were a comfortable pillow we could just sink into, but often it feels like the world — and our private life — is intent on denying it. Some seasons are peaceful; others seem to be defined by noise, tension, financial stress, heartbreak, or the relentless unpredictability of life. This is the chaos that steals our rest.
David captures this reality in Psalm 4:8, saying simply:
"In Peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety."
Notice the personal claim: "In Peace I will lie down and sleep." David is not promising a painless life; he is promising a posture, a trust, a wholeness even when circumstances are threatening. Yet many of us feel far from that promise. We have been convinced — by circumstances, by others, by our own minds — that Peace is fragile and conditional. We find ourselves asking: Can Peace be recovered? Can it endure in the middle of my chaos?
Before we answer, we must be honest about what robs us of Peace. The simple truth is that chaos itself is not always the direct thief; rather, the way we respond to chaos is often what destroys our inner Peace. The enemy's tactics are remarkably consistent across time: he uses accusations, he stokes anger, and he thrives on our faulty assumptions. When we recognize these patterns, we can begin to protect and restore our Peace.
📜 What David Teaches Us about Shalom (Complete, Restored Peace)
The Hebrew word translated "Peace" in Psalm 4:8 is shalom. Shalom is richer than mere absence of conflict — it describes completeness, wholeness, restoration. Imagine a brick wall where every brick is in its place, firm and secure. That is shalom. Even if the surrounding environment is chaotic, the wall stands whole.
David wrote Psalm 4 not from a place of triumph but from hiding — scholars suggest he wrote it while fleeing, perhaps hiding in a cave while his son Absalom sought to seize his throne. He was a king without a palace. He was a leader whose life felt at risk. And yet he claimed Peace. That is the paradox: shalom is possible while the chaos rages.
David's Psalm moves from complaint and confession to confidence. He acknowledges the trouble (the accusations, the slander, the lies), then chooses not to let those realities have the final word. Instead, he trusts God’s character and shelter. We can do the same. Shalom invites us to believe that what is broken can be restored. That is not wishful thinking; it is rooted in the God who restores.
⚔️ The Three Attacks on Peace — How the Enemy Tries to Steal Shalom
When I think about why Peace seems so elusive, I see patterns — three main avenues of attack that are repeated over centuries, cultures, and generations. Even though tactics may adapt to new technologies or social structures, the core strategies remain the same. Recognizing them helps us respond with wisdom instead of reaction.
1\. Accusations — The Lies That Steal Our Peace
Accusations can come from outside us and from within. They can be a rumor whispered at a family gathering, a tweet misrepresenting your intentions, or the inner voice that replays a mistake night after night. Psalm 4 highlights David’s struggle with lies and accusations. These attacks are powerful because they go after our identity and reputation, which are foundational to our sense of wholeness.
There are two main forms of accusations that rob Peace:
- External accusations: When other people spread lies or misunderstandings about us. This kind of slander is painful and destabilizing. It can make us feel unsafe in relationships and lead to isolation.
- Internal accusations (guilt and shame): The private replay of mistakes we've made. This can be particularly corrosive when we become our own worst critics and refuse to accept forgiveness or grace.
Psychology and scripture both warn us how much we care about reputation. Solomon Asch’s classic conformity experiments in 1951 showed that people will often change their answers — even to simple perceptual questions — to match the group. We are designed to be influenced by others, and accusations exploit that tendency.
Romans 5 offers a counterpoint. Paul says that Adam's sin brought condemnation and death, but the gift of God through Jesus brings justification and life. In other words, the accusations and condemnation that result from our mistakes are not the final verdict. God's grace is bigger. That truth is foundational to reclaiming Peace.
2\. Anger — When Disappointment Becomes Rage and Destroys Peace
Anger is often a secondary response to disappointment. We get angry when life doesn't meet our expectations. That anger can be mild and simmering or explosive and destructive. Regardless of expression, anger can erode relationships and wreck inner Peace.
Jesus addresses worry, trust, and fear in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 6). He calls his followers to a faith that trusts God’s provision: if God cares for birds and lilies, how much more will He care for us? Where faith wanes, worry grows. Where worry grows, disappointment follows. Disappointment, if not processed, turns into bitterness and anger. That anger then becomes a primary obstacle to Peace.
Anger can also be righteous and holy when it arises from injustice. The problem is when anger controls us. Psalm 4:4 warns, "Do not sin by letting anger control you." The invitation is to process disappointment, hold it up to God, and allow God to shape our response rather than letting anger shape our actions.
3\. Assumptions — When Expectations Become Shackles and Rob Peace
Assumptions are the silent predators of Peace. They come as expectations about outcomes: how people should act, what life should look like, and what God ought to do for me. When those expectations are unmet, we experience loss of hope and disillusionment. Assumptions breed resentment when reality fails to conform to them.
David models a healthier assumption in Psalm 4:3 — he says, "The Lord has set apart the godly for himself; the Lord will answer when I call to him." That is a safe assumption: when we call, God answers. Not always in the way we imagine, but He answers. Making that our baseline assumption helps preserve Peace because it connects us to God’s faithful character rather than our illusions about control.
Each of these three attacks — accusations, anger, assumptions — chips away at the wall of shalom. But understanding them frees us to resist, to repent where needed, and to rebuild.
🪨 Rough Rock and Polished Rock — A Metaphor for Growth, Chaos, and Peace
I want to introduce an image that has helped me personally and that deepens the message of Peace: the rough rock and the polished rock.
The rough rock is where most of us begin. It's raw, jagged, full of potential but unshaped. It represents the early stage of personal development — the place of chaos, unrefined habits, and ingrained prejudices. The rough rock is honest about its imperfections. It carries the marks of life’s rough edges and the consequences of broken choices. That roughness can make us feel incomplete; it can feel like the wall is torn down.
The polished rock, in contrast, is the result of intentional shaping. Through trials, refining, discipline, repentance, and grace, the rough rock becomes smoothed and strengthened. The polished stone symbolizes resilience, stability, and inner Peace — a completeness that stands firm even when storms hit. It doesn’t mean perfection of humanity or sinlessness. Rather, the polished rock represents a character that has been through the fire and forged into a foundation of steadiness.
These two stones tell the story of transformation. Chaos does not have the final word because the rough rock can become the polished rock. You are not stuck where you are. But there is an essential piece missing from this metaphor if we stop there: the cornerstone.
✝️ Jesus the Cornerstone — The Angular Stone That Aligns and Completes
In biblical architecture, the cornerstone is the first and most precisely placed stone in a structure. It dictates the alignment and position of every other stone in the building. Spiritually, Jesus is that cornerstone. He is the angular stone — carefully measured, perfectly placed, and foundational to the alignment of every other piece.
Jesus completes the rough rock. He is not a marginal add-on, but the central agent of restoration. The idea is not merely that you polish yourself through effort alone. Rather, Jesus shapes, aligns, and makes whole. While we pursue the work of transformation — the disciplines, repentance, therapy, community, and spiritual practices — it is Jesus who gives ultimate coherence and completion to our lives.
Colossians 1:19 says, "For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things." The reconciliation is universal in scope: God reconciled everything by Christ’s blood on the cross. That means the raw, jagged places inside us — the parts that feel irredeemable — are not beyond God’s reach. The cornerstone makes the rest possible.
So the process looks like this: rough rock meets the cornerstone. Under His influence and through the shaping work of life, the rough rock begins to take on new form, inch by inch, becoming more polished, more stable, and more able to hold Peace.
🩹 How Restoration Happens — Grace, the Cross, and Your Peace Restored
One of the most hopeful truths in scripture is that restoration is not piecemeal or partial unless we choose it to be. The cross makes a comprehensive reconciliation possible. The price for sin, guilt, accusation, and separation has been paid. Romans and Colossians together show the scope of this reconciliation: Adam’s sin brought condemnation, but Christ’s gift brings justification and life. God has reconciled everything to Himself through Christ.
This is the theological backbone for our practical restoration: because the price has already been paid, accusation and condemnation do not have the final claim on us. That does not mean consequences vanish automatically. Broken relationships still require work, confession, and sometimes seasons of repair. But the inner verdict — the ultimate accusation that you are irredeemable — is false in light of the cross.
When you internalize that truth, Peace becomes not performance-based but grace-based. You are not required to become flawless before you rest. You are invited to lie down in Peace because God’s work in Christ makes you whole in identity, even as you grow in behavior and maturity.
🛠 Practical Steps to Maintain Peace (Action Plan)
Abstract theology is helpful, but practical steps matter. Below are concrete practices that help preserve and restore Peace in everyday life. These are not quick fixes, but habits that, when repeated, protect and rebuild the wall of shalom brick by brick.
- Name the attack. When you feel unsettled, identify whether you are facing accusations, anger, or assumptions. Naming the enemy clarifies how to respond.
- Bring the accusation into the light. Talk with a trusted friend, pastor, or counselor. Spoken truth weakens slander and the lies of the inner critic.
- Confess and accept grace. If guilt is weighing you down, take it to God honestly. Accept the reality of forgiveness. Romans says God’s gift leads to justification: receive it.
- Process disappointment. Practice lament and honest prayer. Ask God your hard questions. Lament is a God-honoring way to move from disappointment toward trust.
- Check your assumptions. List out what you expected to happen. Ask: Are these needs or wants? Are these assumptions rooted in truth or fear? Reframe what is true and release what is not.
- Anchor in scripture. Memorize or meditate on promises that build your sense of safety: Psalm 4:8, Matthew 6, Colossians 1, Romans 5. These reminders reconstruct the internal wall.
- Build daily rhythms. Rest, prayer, Sabbath, honest conversation, and service. Rhythm stabilizes us more than sporadic bursts of spiritual activity.
- Invite community to shape you. Let the cornerstone of Jesus align you, and let trusted people apply the trowel and hammer. Transformation is both divine and communal.
- Practice giving Peace away. One of the quickest ways to experience inner Peace is to look outward and serve, forgive, or reconcile where possible. Peace multiplies when shared.
- Celebrate small repairs. Recognize progress. A single reconciled conversation, a night of real sleep, or a decision to pray can be a polished spot on the rock of your life.
Maintaining Peace isn’t about avoiding chaos altogether. It’s about forming habits and adopting mindsets that let you remain whole even when the storm hits.
🧭 Reflection and Prayer — Practical Liturgies for Restoring Peace
If you feel like your Peace has been stolen, here are reflective prompts and a short prayer you can use. These are meant to be practical moments of spiritual formation — not magical formulas — that help you reorient toward shalom.
Reflection Prompts
- Identify the loudest accusation you hear right now. Is it true? Where does it come from?
- What disappointment sits closest to your heart? Name it and give it words.
- What assumption are you holding as a demand rather than a hope?
- Who is a person you can invite to stand with you in prayer or accountability?
- What small repair can you initiate this week — a conversation, an apology, a Sabbath, a boundary?
A Short Prayer for Peace
Lord God, I come to you with the broken pieces of my heart and life. You know the accusations that hound me, the anger that simmers within, and the assumptions that entangle me. I confess my need for you. I receive your forgiveness where I have fallen short. Shape the rough parts of me; make me more like the polished stone you desire. Be my cornerstone. Grant me the Peace that is deeper than sleep, the shalom that makes me whole. Help me to live in that Peace today, to give it away, and to trust your restoration. Amen.
❓ FAQ — Common Questions about Peace and Restoration
Q: Can Peace truly exist when everything around me is falling apart?
A: Yes. Shalom is not the same thing as perfect circumstances. Biblical Peace is rooted in wholeness and restored relationship with God. David’s life illustrates this — he found Peace even while hiding and under threat. That doesn’t minimize pain, but it does mean Peace can coexist with struggle when we anchor in God's character and the finished work of Christ.
Q: I feel guilty about something I did years ago. How can I ever find Peace?
A: The first step is confession — to God and where appropriate to people you have harmed. Romans teaches that although sin brought condemnation, God’s gift through Christ brings justification. That means God has provided the means for your inner accusation to be lifted. Practical steps include confession, restorative action (if possible), counseling, and receiving forgiveness. Accepting God’s forgiveness is essential to reclaiming Peace.
Q: How do I know if my anger is righteous or destructive?
A: Righteous anger aims at injustice and seeks repair. Destructive anger seeks personal satisfaction or revenge and harms relationships. A helpful litmus test is whether the anger leads you toward restoration or toward destruction. If it increases bitterness and isolates you, it is likely destructive and needs to be processed with prayer, accountability, and possibly professional help.
Q: What role does community play in finding Peace?
A: Community is essential. The rough rock is shaped not in isolation but in relationship — through honest conversations, disciplined habits, and mutual encouragement. Community offers reality checks, prayer, and tangible help when chaos threatens to overwhelm.
Q: Can personal effort alone polish the rock enough to find Peace?
A: Personal effort — spiritual disciplines, therapy, repentance, hard work — is vital. Yet transformation is ultimately grace-driven. The cornerstone (Jesus) is what aligns and completes. Effort without dependence on God can lead to exhaustion; dependence without effort can lead to passivity. The healthiest path integrates both.
Q: What if my Peace is stolen repeatedly — is it possible to rebuild permanently?
A: Rebuilding Peace is often a process, not a single event. Each season of recovery adds to the polished surface of your life. Repeated setbacks do not mean failure; they are opportunities to practice resilience and to rely more deeply on the cornerstone. Over time, the wall gains strength.
🔚 Conclusion — Choose to Build Peace Brick by Brick
Peace is not a fragile commodity reserved for people with perfect lives. It is shalom — a robust wholeness that God promises and provides. David’s example teaches us that Peace is possible even in hiding, even when enemies circle. The rough rock metaphor reminds us we are all works in progress. The polished rock reminds us that shaping happens. But ultimately the cornerstone — Jesus — is the one who completes and aligns the work.
Practical steps matter: name the attack, bring accusations into light, process disappointment instead of letting it calcify into anger, and reframe assumptions around God’s faithful character. Let community and spiritual disciplines help the shaping process. Trust that because of the cross, restoration is real and available. Your wall can be rebuilt. Your life can be whole again.
If you are in a season of chaos right now, do not be discouraged. The process of becoming a polished stone is often painful, but it is the very context in which lasting Peace is forged. Take one small step today: tell someone you trust, open a conversation, or offer yourself the mercy you need. This week, choose to build Peace — brick by brick, confession by confession, prayer by prayer — and let the cornerstone align everything else.
May you know the Peace that passes understanding, the Peace that quiets your nights, and the Peace that shapes the rough places into something enduring. You are not alone in this work. The cornerstone stands ready. Let the shaping begin.
